I discovered this old piece of my writing the other day. It
managed to make me laugh, and maintains the geographical bent of the blog, so I
thought I would share it. You might not believe it, but the story is based
entirely on fact. Here’s part one (with a further two parts to come) of the
story of a man named Christopher…
The ship wandered into the Port of Palos almost as if it had nothing
better to do that day. The Little Girl berthed quietly in the light
current, countered by the raucousness of the sailors aboard who cheered and called
ashore. The Spanish port was bustling as ever, and stank of the usual mix of
spices and sweat.
The captain of the ship waited in his cabin until a crowd of interested
dock-workers had gathered at the quayside to await what was to be unloaded.
There was little excitement. He marched, as Admiral of the Ocean Sea
‘Behold! I have
returned in triumph to serve as a knight to our Most Christian, High, Excellent,
and Powerful Princes, our Sovereigns Fernando and Isabela, King and Queen of
Spain.’ He cried. ‘I have grand news, great news.’
‘You’ve fired your
tailor?’ shouted a dock worker from the back of the small crowd. The others
laughed hoarsely. ‘Who are you anyway?’ The captain, Admiral Christobal Colon,
reddened.
‘Do you not recognise
my ship the Niña?’ Colon asked.
‘No.’ The man bent
down and began rolling a barrel along the wharf again.
‘By the grace of God,
I’ll…’ The crowd had already begun to drift away. Even a commanding shout of
‘wait’ could not stop the group of workers and merchants from departing.
*
The King sat relaxing in a drawing room; or at least he would have been
had he not had to listen to a report on the ‘successes’ of his Spanish colonies.
A functionary hovered behind the King like a mentally unstable butterfly.
‘And that’s it?’
demanded the King. ‘Fine. I’m to take a walk in the gardens.’
‘I’m afraid another
meeting has been attached to your schedule Your Majesty. Christobal Colon has
returned from his voyage at last’ whispered the functionary.
‘And who the devil is
Christobal Colon?’
‘A Genoese fellow. He
won the favour of the court to find a passage to India to the West. He goes by the
name Christopher Columbus.’
Columbus stormed in,
halving himself in a low bow before the King:
‘My Lord, the Holy
Trinity has looked kindly on this great Kingdom. I have news that will change
the shape of the world, and bring riches beyond belief to our shores.’
‘You look tanned’ said
the King. ‘Have you been working in the fields of Asia like a peasant man,
man?’
‘No my Lord. The sun
is strong above the waves. And a captain’s job is never done.’
‘Tell me about it. I
only wanted to have a walk in the gardens.’
‘The crew of my ship
the Niña have spent weeks sailing, fighting the wind and the high
waves of the Atlantic Ocean . We sighted land,
and – ’
‘Yes, alright. Just
get on with it will you or it will be 1689 before you’ve finished.’
*
The King’s face was slightly beyond what would become pillar-box red. ‘You
are an oaf. An oaf sir! I sponsored you, reluctantly I will add, to find a new
route to India .
When I finally work out whom the hell you are Colon I expect that that’s
exactly what you’ve done, and you come with this utter rubbish, this… ’
‘Piffle, sir?’